18 June 2010

I am concerned about Cho. Took her to a dementia caretaker facilty for 4 hours today. She is still knocked out from it. I am wondering if she suffered another minor stroke. Yet it is just another up and down situation. The last few days I was worried that I had made my decision too soon and then we have today. She was so alive a couple of days ago and now she is almost comatose. I was seriously second guessing myself a few days ago and now I am so compassionate about my wife's suffering that I am relieved. I don't ever wish this on anyone else. It is the same compassion I have for our sniper teams except they kill on orders. I am allowing my wife to die because I am compassionate for her quality of life. We allow our society to put our pets to "sleep" when they are incurable and in pain. The Roman Catholic Church does not condone "Heroic" methods of life support. What is your personal definition of "Heroic"? I have seen human vegetables and I do not accept that as God's will. Those vegetables are sustained by my definition of "Heroic" measures. I believe that our life on Earth is a journey and that our Destination is Heaven. I want my wife in Heaven and not suffering in pain and discomfort on Earth. May God bless my love for my wife. I have prayed and God told me "Now is the time."