Cry with someone, it is more healing than crying alone.

I rememer Aunt Kay and I crying over the loss of her daughter. We were crying a cleansing cry and my mother interrupted us and said to me to stop it - that what I was doing was not seemly. At my mother's funeral, I did not cry - I smiled. What a relief that she was finally dead and all the hatred from her was going to be buried but it wasn't buried. I am still needing to take the time to bring up all the ugliness and expose it to light and love. To forgive her, to forgive me, so that my life may be the fullest it can.

My mother was wrong. When a friend of mine buried his 24 year-old son, he wailed from his broken heart. I hugged him and said I was sorry but maybe it would have been better to say..."Today we cry together. We cry deeply because our loss is so great. You for your lost son and me for your grief that I share because you are my friend."

I have not cried "with" someone since the time of Aunt Kay's loss. I have cried before psychiatrists and psychologist and other people in my times of exposure and weakness. I have cried in my self-pity and when my wife has tried suicide to end her problems. I know soon my wife will pass away and then maybe, maybe, maybe I will find, once again someone to cry with, a cleansing cry that heals the deepest of hurts because God gives us a time for grief because it is good for us. I rest in peace with God when that time comes.